Can We Really Be Happy All The Time?
It seems like our society is obsessed with decoding human behavior; in particular, happiness. Minimalism, essentialism, and awareness are pretty much trends that try to create a path of happiness for us. Can we really be happy all the time?
Realistically, no, we can’t be happy all the time.
Personally, I believe we can use strategies to surf those sad waves that life brings us. I consider myself a happy person. Does that mean that I have an easy life? Heck no! I’ve been through a divorce, losing a parent, losing a job, losing close friends, having no money, and dealing with multiple family crises. I’ve never dealt with depression but that doesn’t mean that I never had conditions that could take me to a depression. That’s why I am sharing with you single rules that could help anyone to be happy most of the time.
Einstein’s theory on happy life
In 1922, Einstein was at the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo, where he was on a lecture tour and had recently learned that he had won the Nobel Prize. When a bellboy delivered a message to the physicist, he fished in his pocket for some change to tip him and came up empty.
Instead, Einstein offered a tip in the form of his theory on how to have a happy life.
“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”
He wrote in German on a piece of hotel stationery.
On a second sheet, he wrote, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Einstein told the bellboy, according to the auction house, that if he was lucky, the notes might become more valuable than a regular tip. His words, befitting a man who had transformed our comprehension of the universe, were prophetic.
Einstein’s theory of happiness was sold by Winner’s Auctions and Exhibition, based in Jerusalem, for $1.56 million, adding him to the pantheon of the world’s most generous tippers.
We all can have a beach life
Many of you know that I am a Caribbean lady! In fact, I come from an Island that has been ranked in the top 20 happiest countries in the world. I’m not kidding! Read the article here. When I moved to NY-CT area, one of my biggest obstacles was the level of stress that people had.
They live a fast-paced life. I don’t blame them. They have to move fast. You have to catch a train at the exact hour and the exact minute. We don’t have that kind of pressure in the Caribbean. There’s no train! There’s no massive transportation.
Everything must be scheduled, or it won’t happen. Going to dinner with your family runs on a tight schedule. That was a big change for me. Where I come from, you can just show up at your friend’s place and start a party! Abuela (grandma) will always have food prepared, just in case people show up. Your neighbors knock on your door to invite kids to go outside and play. There is no play date for kids. That’s how I grew up, anyway.
Perhaps you are used to living a fast-paced life that you don’t know how it is to live without being a slave to your clock. You might even have a smartwatch (I find that excessive, by the way). If that’s the case, chill, relax, flow! Trust me, you will have more happy moments!
The Pursuit of Happiness
Einstein said, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Remember the movie The Pursuit of Happiness?
Happiness is a task that we all should have on our to-do lists. People who consider themselves unhappy, typically refer to external circumstances that are happening in their life. Whatever it is happening in your life, don’t let it define YOU.
You are not your bank account. If you are having a financial crisis, that doesn’t mean that you are a terrible person.
You are not your marriage. If your marriage is in conflict, that doesn’t mean that people don’t like you.
Some experts say that people who are depressed are too selfish. I tend to agree. I actually asked a doctor if there were tests to diagnose depression and found out that there are not. Doctors prescribe medication for depression based on interviewing their patient. We hear about chemical imbalance, but there are no specific tests for those. It’s all about based on what the doctor perceived when they see the patient.
Your mind is very powerful. If you believe that you are in a certain way, you will act in a certain way. That’s why fears stop us. Especially 2 fears: 1) fear of not being liked and 2) fear of not being good enough.
Can you take your mind to believe that you are in a happy state of mind right now? Perhaps the word happy might be intimidating. I call it harmony.
What is my secret to being in harmony?
1) Getting to know me. My reactions. My responses. My thoughts. My values. Even genetics!
This year I wanted to know more about my ancestors and found out that I’m more European than Native American. I was told that I was a mix of Spaniards, African, and Native Americans. See what the DNA results revealed.
Getting to know yourself is a process. Start with your belief system and then your values. Everything that we do is ruled by those 2: what we believe and what we consider important. If happiness is in one of your top values, you will do what it takes to be happy (or to be in harmony).
For example, if you have a tendency to be negative, then, adopt a new statement.
2) Taking full control of my time.
That’s a big deal. We either use our time or we will be used. Your calendar needs your “happy time”.
3) When something is out of alignment, I stop. I clear what it is, and move on.
Your emotions give you a clue. Take inventory of them. If you are mad, sad, afraid, anxious, pause for a moment and reflect on it. What is causing you to feel that emotion?
4) I never hold a state of hyper-emotions for over 24 hours.
If you’re upset, mad, disappointed, over excited, over-emotional, don’t make any decision in that state of mind and don’t go over 24 hours in that state of mind.
When something is not going well, you can always reset and restart. Try it, it works! Especially with your kids.
5) I’m intentional with what I allow in my brain. Relationships are a big part.
I didn’t grow up with a tv. For many years I was embarrassed every time someone talked about a celebrity and I didn’t know who they were. I find impressive those who know celebrities, sports players, their family, their entire bio… you name it! There’s no space in my brain for that kind of data. Instead, I invest time in things that help me to be a better person. But that’s just me. You don’t have to stop watching tv. However, you can control which content gets in your brain!
I love Netflix, but I rarely watch a show without doing something else. For instance, I’m writing this article with Netflix on. A good way to multi-task, in my opinion.
If you are unhappy, you might want to review who is unhappy around you. You should invest time in people who lift you up and who influence you in a positive way.
Start with small changes and remember that everything compounds. Let’s say you go for a walk for 30 minutes, 6 days a week. That’s 156 hours a year. In average, you will burn an extra 300 calories per hour, which means 46,800 calories burned. Losing 1 pound is -3,500. Therefore, you will lose about 15 pounds that year, just by walking 30 minutes 6 days a week. Everything compounds.
Happiness is in the doing not in the thinking. Get yourself to do things that bring you joy.
Your circle of influence
When I decided to break the patterns and become a first-generation entrepreneur woman, I needed to find a new circle of influence. During that process, I found a Mastermind that was my safe place to ask questions, get ideas, and build relationships with like-minded individuals. It is powerful what we can achieve when 2 minds get together.
To this day, I lead Mastermind Circles monthly. I am passionate about connecting individuals who want to thrive in life! If you want to find out more about what I do, check this page.
Happiness is a task that we all should accomplish daily. The more we chill, the more we flow. Invest your time in doing things that make you a better person. Surround yourself with people who accept you, trust you, and believe in you. It’s magical!
This is my theory about happiness. I hope I can inspire you in any way. Now it’s your turn! What do you believe about happiness? Post in comments!